Shrinking Violet!

Recently I read a wonderful article along the lines of solitude which was written by my aunt. Well, she was deep rooted in her insights on why solitude is necessary and the same being proven time and again through the ages. I am an introvert to some extent so I would agree with her. But at the same time I understand the value that being around people has for your sanity and overall well-being. I find socializing for extended periods of time to be exhausting, albeit enjoyable, so I need my time alone. But I've seen a lot of people out there who freaks out when they are alone! What is it about being alone that scares us? Why do so many of us tend to avoid it like it's a curse? Why do we fear it so much? 

My aunt questions me further on the same issue and asks me whether people are really afraid of being alone - All I could do was just nod my head and consolidate a small research for her! 

Before going on further, I need to make clear that there is a vast, humongous difference between Solitude and Loneliness. From the outside they may seem the same - But not all the glitters is gold. 

"Loneliness is marked by feelings of isolation and persists even when one is with other people, which is perhaps the most bitter form of loneliness." 

"Solitude, on the other hand, is a state of being alone, content with your own company, enjoying the silent places of your soul without feeling lonely, and it can lead to self-awareness." 

Well, A few reasons could be as follows - 

• Insecurity
• Extended dependence on people 
• Trying to establish a sense of identity of one's own
• Society these days
• Most importantly, US!

People who are insecure has this burning feeling to make themselves feel superior with people because they feel violently inferior when they are alone.They feel it's always better to be surrounded by people because else around them less than they think they are so they could feel good about themselves. They don't think that they can make themselves better so it seem like a logically next best choice. This happens in deeper level of psych so most of them don't even notice it, they are too busy on making everybody less than they are and don't fallow the trails of the real reasons. We avoid ourselves because we're afraid of what we might find: a forlorn, flawed someone who's missing out on that big party called life. 

Our culture seems to have this complex about being busy. Most of us have that little time to spare for ourselves but we consistently avoid it and convince ourselves that we don't need it. It's like driving a car and not stopping for fuel because the exterior of the car is just awesome! On the other hand, we don't get a lot of credit in our culture for doing nothing. 

But trust me "Carving out a little solitude can make a world of difference. So go ahead—give yourself a break." because on the journey of life, no one ever made any great progress without making the time for reflection.

Our Modern Day Mr Darcy

Who doesn't have that one guy she dreams about and when he becomes a reality who doesn't love the feeling of falling in love with him? I was just reading through a few classics when I realized that a number of guys become what we want even though they hardly love reading books because they are all Men!

Well, here's a small introduction to that Mr Darcy we grew up loving in the form of Men these days - He is indeed an archetype of the aloof romantic hero Mr Darcy was. He is intelligent and forthright. He is sometimes overly proud and overly conscious of his social status. He has always dwelt more on how unsuitable a person we are than on anything else complimentary. Just like how Mr Darcy demonstrates his continued devotion to Elizabeth, in spite of his distaste for her low connections. He would always let you know what a pain you are, the way only someone he loves he would bring that out to. Even though however annoyed he maybe - he would always be there for you. 

The way his face brightens up (which is hidden so cleverly) and the way his voice turns so romantically husky and yet so soft when he sees you all dressed from head to toe in love just for him - The only label which would never go out of fashion with men. The way he would hold your hand when you are so stressed out and as if he popped a magic pill inside- the stress would just disappear. The way he would hold you and give you a bone crunching hug and tell you that everything would be alright. And most importantly, the way he would always put what you want in front of his needs though very subtly. 

And at the end of it, the Payoff is wonderfully awesome because he falls in love with you even though he was in denial about his feelings for you the entire time. And because of all these reasons he would never ever compare to any other guy! (Even though you would always be partial towards him) He becomes your Mr Darcy!