Maid of Honour

The Maid - A lot of them in India come from Rural areas and do not know how and what it is to live life in the big city. For some it's a dream come true and for the people they serve - It's just the beginning of a nightmare. 

I wouldn't blame the former entirely - It is up to the educated lot to teach them how it really is to live in the big city. But some of the so called "educated lot" have filled their head with SHIT that even they don't know how to behave in a big city. They behave like childish monkeys let loose in the jungle when they were in captive for oh so long.

A common sight is a Full Time Maid in many houses in Bangalore. Of course they are helping around the house but that's what we are paying them for. Just like how our job pays for our bread and butter - It's their job and that's how they earn for their bread and butter - Which reminds me,They have a lot of benefits which not many of us employees in MNC's get -

1. The Owner of the house shelters them against the storm and the dark skies. Cause most of the times, in cases of senior citizens it's just them (The Owner) and the Maid. 

2. The Owner of the house has a room assigned for them cause they refuse to sleep anywhere except in a room which houses a single bed and all their stuff - Oh yes, they do get a Single room for themselves.

3. And while the Owners children (In the case, of a senior citizen) are out slogging it out in the traffic and the pollution and the what not and of course the work place - The Maid gets to stay at home, looks after NOTHING, gets to sit on expensive pieces of furniture with their legs up in front of the Idiot Box sobbing and sniffing and laughing out loud to lousy soap operas with unlimited access to goodies which come from Foreign shores. Oh, they conveniently forgot that the goodies were for the people in the house. 

4. And if their mood seems to be on the good side - They would get their lousy asses of those expensive pieces of furniture to cook something for lunch/ dinner and serve the person they look after and themselves food. Oh yes, They actually have a job - It is to look after either a senior citizen or be a nanny to an infant and help with the cooking.

5. They monopolize themselves in the house - They shoo out the maid who comes to do the house work by making false accusations against them and take extra money from the owners in the bid that she would do the house work too.

6. So just a reminder here - The Maid now is to look after a person in the house + Cook + Do the House Work and for this they get to charge exorbitantly, more than we could sometimes earn in a month.

7. Oh, the false accusations is not only against the maid who comes to do the house work, it is also against each and every member of the family. And when family members come down - they get added benefits - Perks like extra money is obtained, extra goodies apart from the ones which was brought for the owner of the house and you get even more if you indulge in a lively session of gossip.

There is the divide and rule policy when different part of the Owner's family comes over - Here, Children. 

8. And as if that wasn't enough they levy Entertainment Tax too - When they have the dire need of going out and doing something fun - The owners even have to look after that. 

9. Oh and if they run out of clothes it's up to the owners to look after that aspect too.

10. If money is found around the house, it just implies it belongs to them.

11. Perfumes, Powders and all the other things which is the owners belongs to her at the end and her stuff is what the Owners have to make do with.

12. Over and above everything, the ruling queen of the house is the Maid and that's why that oh so popular title is conferred on her with disgust.

Such is the life of Maid's today and we know how it is for all us working professionals. I can feel my back ache and groan with pain after the maddening traffic I just got out of but the maid - I don't think I need to say a word further. And if weren't earning enough it just would never be able to satisfy the needs of the maid leave alone our needs.

Well, The term lady-in-waiting describes a woman who attends a female member of the Royal Family other than the queen regnant or queen consort. An attendant upon one of the latter is a lady of the bedchamber or woman of the bedchamber, and the senior lady-in-waiting is the mistress of the robes. The women of the bedchamber are in regular attendance, but the mistress of the robes and the ladies of the bedchamber are normally only required for ceremonial occasions.

And then comes the Maids of honour - It is a term for the junior attendants of a queen in royal households, especially those of England and later of the United Kingdom. The position was and is junior to the Lady-in-waiting.

Also, The term maid of honour is the origin of the American English term maid of honor, usually the best friend of a bride who leads her bridal party.

Nowadays, we could easily add the "Maid" into one of the above category - They are a boon as much as they are a bane! Again, Exceptions do exist! I am in no way referring to each and every maid we have in India, There maybe exceptions to every case but in my case this is the case.

The Woes and Wows of being a Rider in Bangalore

I am one of the regulars in Bangalore who vroooms to office on a two wheeler! I have a Scooter and I consider it a Super Bike. But to any normal rider in Bangalore I guess we would all share the same woes of being a rider in Bangalore and also share the same Wows of why being a rider in Bangalore is actually awesome.

So this is how it all starts -

We hit the roads a little later than the normal Public Transport users and the owners of cars because WE - The Elite Few are always assured of reaching office just in the nick of time! - WOW

We have this uncanny capability of sliding into the narrowest of narrowest spaces within a road filled with Trucks, Buses, Cars, Auto's - How can we ever forget them and of course Cyclists! - WOW

We are well versed with the potholes on the road we take and carefully try to avoid them, well before time! - WOW

We know that in order to cross a road - The best vehicle you could have next to you is an Autorickshaw - cause everyone else is scared of them! - WOW

We get to see the amazing cloud formation, the amazing Sunset up ahead, feel the breeze hit our faces - Ah what bliss. - WOW

And then start's the WOES -

The worst vehicle who can be in front of you is a Bus cause you just would never be able to judge what's up ahead. - WOE

The worst vehicle who can be behind you is an Auto, a Car, a Bus, a Truck - basically any vehicle. - WOE
Auto - because we just would never win an argument with them and plus they aren't the nicest of people always!
Car - because they always think that we are the reckless ones on the road and that we would never know how it is to own a car cause we are still riding a Two Wheeler.
Bus - Cause they aren't bothered.
Truck - 'Cause Hello? I own the road!

All vehicle owners consider themselves the King of the road - WOE

All vehicle owners think it's their right to bully the one's on Two Wheeler's either by honking too loudly when they are beside us or by the dance of the headlights - WOE

And when it rain's or the weather becomes a horrible disaster even hell hath no fury as compared to the vehicles pounding on the roads to get home. As if the weather weren't scary enough for us, We have to deal with the traffic too. - WOE

But I still consider the Two Wheeled Machine to be the winner because at the end of it all on the not so bad days - WE ROCK!

Shrinking Violet!

Recently I read a wonderful article along the lines of solitude which was written by my aunt. Well, she was deep rooted in her insights on why solitude is necessary and the same being proven time and again through the ages. I am an introvert to some extent so I would agree with her. But at the same time I understand the value that being around people has for your sanity and overall well-being. I find socializing for extended periods of time to be exhausting, albeit enjoyable, so I need my time alone. But I've seen a lot of people out there who freaks out when they are alone! What is it about being alone that scares us? Why do so many of us tend to avoid it like it's a curse? Why do we fear it so much? 

My aunt questions me further on the same issue and asks me whether people are really afraid of being alone - All I could do was just nod my head and consolidate a small research for her! 

Before going on further, I need to make clear that there is a vast, humongous difference between Solitude and Loneliness. From the outside they may seem the same - But not all the glitters is gold. 

"Loneliness is marked by feelings of isolation and persists even when one is with other people, which is perhaps the most bitter form of loneliness." 

"Solitude, on the other hand, is a state of being alone, content with your own company, enjoying the silent places of your soul without feeling lonely, and it can lead to self-awareness." 

Well, A few reasons could be as follows - 

• Insecurity
• Extended dependence on people 
• Trying to establish a sense of identity of one's own
• Society these days
• Most importantly, US!

People who are insecure has this burning feeling to make themselves feel superior with people because they feel violently inferior when they are alone.They feel it's always better to be surrounded by people because else around them less than they think they are so they could feel good about themselves. They don't think that they can make themselves better so it seem like a logically next best choice. This happens in deeper level of psych so most of them don't even notice it, they are too busy on making everybody less than they are and don't fallow the trails of the real reasons. We avoid ourselves because we're afraid of what we might find: a forlorn, flawed someone who's missing out on that big party called life. 

Our culture seems to have this complex about being busy. Most of us have that little time to spare for ourselves but we consistently avoid it and convince ourselves that we don't need it. It's like driving a car and not stopping for fuel because the exterior of the car is just awesome! On the other hand, we don't get a lot of credit in our culture for doing nothing. 

But trust me "Carving out a little solitude can make a world of difference. So go ahead—give yourself a break." because on the journey of life, no one ever made any great progress without making the time for reflection.

Our Modern Day Mr Darcy

Who doesn't have that one guy she dreams about and when he becomes a reality who doesn't love the feeling of falling in love with him? I was just reading through a few classics when I realized that a number of guys become what we want even though they hardly love reading books because they are all Men!

Well, here's a small introduction to that Mr Darcy we grew up loving in the form of Men these days - He is indeed an archetype of the aloof romantic hero Mr Darcy was. He is intelligent and forthright. He is sometimes overly proud and overly conscious of his social status. He has always dwelt more on how unsuitable a person we are than on anything else complimentary. Just like how Mr Darcy demonstrates his continued devotion to Elizabeth, in spite of his distaste for her low connections. He would always let you know what a pain you are, the way only someone he loves he would bring that out to. Even though however annoyed he maybe - he would always be there for you. 

The way his face brightens up (which is hidden so cleverly) and the way his voice turns so romantically husky and yet so soft when he sees you all dressed from head to toe in love just for him - The only label which would never go out of fashion with men. The way he would hold your hand when you are so stressed out and as if he popped a magic pill inside- the stress would just disappear. The way he would hold you and give you a bone crunching hug and tell you that everything would be alright. And most importantly, the way he would always put what you want in front of his needs though very subtly. 

And at the end of it, the Payoff is wonderfully awesome because he falls in love with you even though he was in denial about his feelings for you the entire time. And because of all these reasons he would never ever compare to any other guy! (Even though you would always be partial towards him) He becomes your Mr Darcy!

I'm happy I am what I am!

Everyone on whatever phase of the earth they are in are a special creation to someone, somewhere! Everyone deserves a standing ovation for something in their lives not from a big crowd of people sometimes, not from a few but sometimes just from themselves! Everyone living is proud of themselves in some way or another but if we can't be who we are - (By this I mean, who we really are) - Life just ain't worth living! You've got to prove yourself more than proving to the world you are some amazing piece of flesh and bones. If you can prove to one person what you are worth - beginning with you - You can do wonders.

Why can't we just be who we are? Why can't we follow the age old adage - Live and let live? You've got just one life - We can't return the one life we have till we fulfil our purpose here on earth however menial it maybe. We can't deposit it somewhere. We're just given credit and whether you like it or not - You've just got to live and if you can't live it, let others live. As I was coming to work today something caught my attention - There was a small kid who could easily be around the age of 6 or 7. He was throwing a ball to his dog without turning his attention to anything else but his mom and the dog. And his mother seemed to be crying with joy just looking at that and she hugged her kid. A few on the road found that crazy and started sniggering and some laughed out loud. And he looked at them and started laughing at them too. Probably thinking everyone was happy for him. Find this crazy? Why? Yes, it's simple for a person to do that. But, that kid there was an autistic kid.

Not all of us are what we want to be, what we hoped we would be and what we ought to be despite our full potential. You are not what happened to you, but you get to choose what you can be - Yet, we take the time out to laugh at someone performing to his full potential.

Why is it that we have never learnt to laugh at ourselves and the ones who have learnt to laugh at themselves are labelled? My heart reached out to the boy - I was really happy for that family there! This little thing called - "Gratitude" played a major role in my life. I have never been more grateful - I have grumbled a million times over a number of things on just how imperfect I am. But seeing that mother happy for her child I realised that for everyone somewhere in the world we are just perfect. And that feeling of being that perfect person for someone in the world is just slowly sinking into me.

For all those Brainiacs who laughed this Ted Talk would definitely make you think twice! This Ted talk from Ruby Wax is a Must - Watch. As stated by her "Diseases of the body garner sympathy, except those of the brain. Why is that?" 

"I like my money right where I can see it... hanging in my closet"

In the lines of Sophie Kinsella, "When I shop, the world gets better, and the world is better, but then it's not, and I need to do it again." (Confessions of a Shopaholic-the movie)

Or even along the lines of Erma Bombeck, "Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase."

The odds of going into this humongous shopping mall - with very attractive stores, which has even more attractive stuff inside the store and ever encouraging staff - to buy just this one dress we had in mind and come out with just that is one in a zillion. The very thought of coming out of a mall with all those shopping bags we never intended on coming out with is because - At that very moment we saw that dress on that mannequin, we knew we were meant to be. The connection was obvious. The dress had you held hostage till you took it to the Cashier and settled the bills. And the same repeated again and again and again until your small hands just couldn't take the burden of those baggages anymore. Oh and when there are bargains - The love and the connection just get deeper between the mannequin and us. 

Shopping gets really complicated with us women - We tend to see the future of a lot of dresses in our future and just keep piling it for the future and then forgetting the piled up future with the bygone. It's just that one thing we women can never ever hate. It's that quick fix for almost every evil thing in our life.It gives us that pleasure. It feels like magic.

But after that elated feeling wears away - We look through the swipes we've made on our card and realise that the world is a really cruel place, more on the lines of evil - The evil trap of Consumerism.



To an extent anything is good and so is Consumerism - It makes us happy for a while and of course the governments also happy - As the success rate of Government is gauged by how well the "Scared Note" does it's rounds which in turn if on the higher side leads to the conquest of economic management.

Till then it's ok to shop cause every once in a while a girl just has to indulge in herself in the most constant thing in her life.

Resolution Making!

One of my resolutions this year was to make a resolution and one of them was to do things I actually love doing - Well, you can't actually love everything you do - That's just life for you, in general. But you can actually manage to do something you love everyday or even love doing what you do by having that little soft corner for it.

We all at some point have dreaded going to work or even take the evergreen example of studying, but when you develop a soft corner for it somewhere in your life and tell yourself that that is your life - You tend to be so much more happy. You tend to drain out all the voices that bog you down day after day. You tend to have so much more confidence in yourself and develop a gumption just to prove the entire world wrong in what they thought about you.

I did realize that if you never value the little moments in life, you would never ever be happy with the big achievements in whatever form they come in. I have been a grumpy little witch so many times and I have always grumbled about a lot of things - That's when life taught me to be happy with the so many things I have that so many people my age do not have!

I remember when I was small I used to look forward to the New Year because along with the New Year came hope. My mother had this habit of getting us these cute planners where we could plan out what we would rather should do on a particular day. Birthdays and Anniversary and the like were all remembered. As we grew older the World Wide Web and then the rise of Smart Phones came with a host of applications in which we could have our planner with us all the time. Thus minusing the family time we used to have while writing our respective planners and having the sometimes horrible feeling by seeing your life all planned out for you every time you look at your phone. A little voice inside me told me to relive those Childhood Memories and form a calendar with my own two hands and my little creative brain. So yes, I am still in the process of forming my calendar for the year 2014 - Sadly, "Stop being a Procrastinator" was never a resolution this year!

Another fond childhood memory I have of a New Year was new journals where we could store our little thoughts for the day - However horrible and however much awesome it maybe. Well, I haven't really gotten around to buying a journal for this year or for the past hmmm it's been a long time but I have started my Gratitude Journal online (Actually of 2 different types) - One is called HappyRambles - It's an online gratitude journal where every night before you go to sleep - You could just fill up the many things you were grateful for. And something on similar lines except here you would have to post pictures 100happydays. And of course, there are a few cute, motivational ones you could buy like - Buddha Doodles Gratitude Journal. They are all cute in their own little ways and if you can actually keep up the Gratitude Journal - You would feel happy - It's like a sense of accomplishment in some small sphere of your life! **Remember THIS IS FOR YOU and not for the entire world to know!**

CAUSE -

The Start of a Happy New Year!

It's the first day of a new year! The day seems bright and full of hope. The sun's rays beaming through the clouds with full vigour even the sun seems to be celebrating. The birds are flying and enjoying the wind ruffling through their feathers, something which doesn't seem too common on other days. The leaves on the trees seem to be a bright green rather than the normal withered, brownish look they usually have. People seem to have an unusual calm today - no swear words being heard, no breaking the traffic rules, The day seems just perfect - WOW! The world has surely become an awesome place to be in this year. 

Perception, I say! It's only a matter of Perception! And with perception a tinge of Superstition is added to it.

It was one to hear my Grandmother tell me last night that we must not go visiting on the first day of the New year and it was another to see my Mother push me out of the house to work on the first day of the New Year irrespective of the fact that I wasn't feeling too good and then my Father supporting her for the same! I recalled a Teacher in school saying that it was always believed to either learn something or work on the first day of the new year! And another tradition in my family was to eat Bacon on New Year and mostly all the Christian festivals there was. I was also taught never to have an empty wallet (In terms of money only, cause I have a stack of bills I would've my Debit Slip attached to) when stepping out anywhere and when stepping into a New Year! 

All this made me delve deeper into the myths which surround New Year and Boy, I was in for a surprise! Starting from the one's I stated -

Luck and Fate

They say that the first visitor to enter the house on the first of January signifies the balance of marriage in the next 365 days. If a man enters your door then the husband will have more authority for the whole year and if a woman enters, then the wife will have complete control.

It's also said that the “First Footing,” (a superstition many places around the world, means that the first person to enter the home after midnight will determine the type of year the dwellers are going to have.)  The best luck comes to homes whose “first footer” – the first person to arrive after midnight – is tall, dark and handsome. The superstition specifically states it should be a tall male with dark hair who is handsome and, ideally, bringing gifts. A blond or redhead will bring bad luck and a female “first footer” spells disaster.An additional rule warns that the first-footer should not be cross-eyed or have a unibrow.

So, now you know exactly whom to invite over for breakfast next year if this one's bad. (and who to not).

Career Front/ Education Front - I believe it works for both

If you want to guarantee a successful career, then do some kind of hard work on January 1.

There are contradictory beliefs about work too. On the one hand, it is lucky to accomplish something related to your career on New Year’s Day, to set the stage for the rest of the year. On the other hand, too much work on the first of the year is unlucky. 

Health

Another interesting superstition I heard was that if you cook any chicken dish on New Year’s day, you will have monetary troubles for the rest of the year.

So now you know who is responsible for all your financial troubles this year - the Chicken. Beware! Though the pig is said to bring in Good Luck financially and in terms of your health. Also many people actually make an effort and eat lots of smoked sausages with boiled cabbage on the first day of the year to remain healthy for the entire year.

Financial

There are people who insist that one should take care to avoid wearing a dress with empty pockets on New Year’s Eve since it may be a sign of very low or no income in the year to come. So, make sure you have some cash in your pockets tonight, even if it is a few hundred bucks. Some money is better than none, as far as I know. 

New Year should not begin with unsettled amounts and unpaid debts. It is always said that all money settlements should be dealt with before the old year closes. It is the time to bury the foregone and begin afresh, hence one should take care that debts are paid off before January 1. Make sure that you don't pay back loans or lend money to anyone on January 1. It indicates that you shall be paying all year long and money would be flowing out, instead of the other way around.

I have even heard some say that eating green, leafy vegetables such as cabbage, collard greens, mint, mustard greens, kale, spinach or coriander leaves is likely to bring wealth for the entire year. There are even those who suggest that eating only cornbread brings instant cash.

Hmmm, green leafy vegetables? I can just imagine my Mother grinning at this one with a "I told you all along to eat them" Look.

Well, Enough said about Luck and Ill Luck - I'm pretty sure some would be feeling really lucky after reading this and some nodding their heads and telling themselves - Dammit! I think I'll stop with the same now and probably just take up this issue on Dec 30th 2014. Good Luck!

Happy New Day and a Happy New Year People! :)